Fucking morons, give me my food

As you might have noticed by looking at the title for a nano-second, I am extremely angry at the moment. You see, I, as many others, have a one hour lunch break. No more! That hour is of great importance and without it I would not stand a chance at even surviving the day. There are many reasons why I really love lunch. Mainly because it is free time. Time you can spend talking, reading, relaxing or jamming a fork into a vendor machine. Whatever. This is not the entire thing though. The other thrilling thing about lunch break that I like is, hold your hat because you are in for a big surprise, the food. Yeah, it is true! As I skip breakfast almost everyday, I really look forward to engaging in unconditional wolfing of different foods. Choosing what food shall be consumed is also somewhat of a concept in itself. It is carefuly arranged democratically at work, as all the participants have one vote each and place them on whatever restaurant they want to eat at. All this happens verbally so do not think that me and my colleagues have actual campaigns with slogans, fake promises and conversations with God.

Since the chosen foods the past week had sucked I was really looking forward to todays choice. Word on the street was that it was Thai Food that the other colleagues were dreaming of. This thrilled me as I am a great fan of that particular food genre. Time lapses and the votes are being counted. Thai for the win!!! On our way in the car, I ask about the payment policies of the restaurant. To my dissapointment I am told that they do not accept credit cards-> Only cash my friend. We pull over for me to make a cash withdrawal. Bare in mind that the lunch break consists of 60 minutes. That is ONE hour. Problematic? Imagine Ed Bradley being a bitch for a certain amount of time. Now you know. Anyhow, the ATM was out of order so we had to keep going. Another stop is made and I go out to do my business (not to urinate) but this machine is out of order aswell. Back into the car, this time onward to the actual restaurant where we had heard rumors that there was supposed to be an ATM near by. I jump out at the scene but I can not seem to find the ATM. After screening the area I realise it is because of the HUGE line of people waiting to make cash withdrawals, in front of the ATM I am looking for! I get in line and wait for about 20minutes. When the old crack lady in front of me is done I insert my visa card rapidly, ready to input my code faster than a motherfucker, only to be welcomed by the text. “CONNECTION TO BANK LOST, OUT OF ORDER”

Completely outraged, my thoughts immediately land on the people ahead of me in the line. Why had they not mentioned this? Stupid morons I have 15minutes left of my lunch now, simply because they did not bother to tell the other people in the line of the erronous ATM. Fucking idiots. Is this an ancient phenomenon? If not, it means that people actually used to take the two seconds of time to, in a authoritarian voice, say “THE MACHINE IS OUT OF ORDER”. So if that is true, at what point did people stop doing that? Are they still doing it, only that I am the most unlucky motherfucker roaming this earth? Let me quote the title, “fucking morons”.

Pissed off and hungry I run to the car to explain the situation. One of the guys lends me money, we buy the food, go back to work and eat it up as fast as we can, with NO time for satisfaction of taste or hunger. I just shoved it down and on top of all this, I think the chef took it personal when I asked him to spice up my food, because I am still hyperventilating with tears in my eyes. Oh, I forgot, I did not get time to buy snuff so I have been without that for three hours now.

 Death to the people

 

/Frans Narcisius

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: